I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
