Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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