so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
