They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
