69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
