is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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