Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
