What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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