she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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