just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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