I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
