CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize