I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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