Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
