You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
