Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
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You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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