talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
