I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
