pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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