While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
