Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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