In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
