Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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