Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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