I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
