Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
