i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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