btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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