yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize