Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
