I can tuck mytits in my pants
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
