Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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