yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize