Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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