at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
