You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
