While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
