Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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