WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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