She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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