Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Found your dick twin last night
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
