"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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