Got a toothbrush?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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