i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
