It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
