Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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