jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
