he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
