I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
