yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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