She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize