Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize