Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
