I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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