I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
