I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
