I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just cropdusted the office
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
