Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
