I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
