We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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