happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
