Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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