Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
