I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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